I have struggled to write anything intelligible or cohesive in the past two weeks, much less creative or fresh. Sometimes I wake up feeling optimistic and inspired and manage to type a few paragraphs, jot some notes in my journal, or start a quick sketch. But then the 20-minute coffee high wears off and reality, and its subsequent anxious and “what’s-the-point” thoughts, hit me like a ton o’ bricks. I feel like one of those cartoon characters in the exaggerated, panicked moment where they’re hovering in the air after the ground has fallen out beneath them:
All of that is a long-winded excuse for another week of unfinished drawings and thoughts. Last week I posted a half-finished sketch along with whatever rambling thoughts I could compile, and this week it’s kind of the same.
Here’s another half-finished drawing from my notebook earlier this week:
This sketch is reflective of my persistent daydreams about bright colors and flowers (and ideally experiencing them with my sister, Leslie).
I try to start my day by setting aside time for a calming activity before beginning work. About 50% of my mornings actually begin this way – with drawing, writing, or something as simple as deep breathing – and the other 50% are me waking up, pouring unhealthy amounts of cold brew into a jug, and immediately logging on to my work laptop. Once I start checking my email – even if it’s 7am, two hours before any of my coworkers log on and meetings start – any hope of me accomplishing any of these other activities goes out the window.
In addition to the time I managed to draw for 20 minutes this past week, I also eked out the following indecipherable words in my journal:
If anyone can provide me with clarity on my own disorganized thoughts that would be greatly appreciated. Alternatively, please send me a note or leave a comment about some the things you’ve been thinking about (bonus points if they make no sense).
Love to everyone. Keep hanging in there.