(It’s like the Ghost of Christmas Past from A Christmas Carol … but instead of a ghost taking me back in time to observe myself, I’m transported by my journal entries from March 14 over the past years. Disclaimer: none of them have anything to do with Pi Day, I just liked the alliteration.)
Like most apps these days, my trusty journaling app has a feature that reminds me of the journal entries I wrote “on this day” in previous years. One of my favorite things about my journaling practice is that I can look back on these old entries, an exercise that usually ends up one of two ways: me thinking to myself, “Wow, look how much I’ve changed!” or, equally (if not more) likely, me thinking to myself, “Wow, I am still the exact same person!” Either way, this benefit of journaling is something that motivates me to keeping writing things down, no matter how seemingly small or incomprehensible.
So: picture me this morning – sitting at my desk on an otherwise empty and dark office floor at 6:50am, with exactly 10 precious minutes of journaling/reflection time before my 7am meeting – chuckling out loud to myself like a weirdo as I read my previous entries from March 14 that confirm I am, in fact, the exact same person:
<– My entry from one year ago today. Can confirm I still love book club. Can confirm I still have all of those thoughts about myself. Oops. However – while my sentiments in the last sentence (about not writing anything important or cohesive) remain true, I am challenging my own fears and anxieties by posting this entry anyway!
<– My entry from two years ago today. Can confirm I still head to the ocean when I need reminders that my problems are small. Can also confirm that my camera roll from the past few weeks contains many pictures of cherry blossoms and magnolias – tis the season!
<– My entry from five years ago today. I’m definitely still relying on sun and movement and nature as pillars of my mental health. Although, this picture is making me miss Bernal Heights where I used to spend much more time when we lived in Potrero Hill! It’s another reminder of how fast time passes, given we’ve spent two years living in Berkeley and a year back in San Francisco since then…
Was this a pointless post? Maybe, probably. At the very least, I’ve reminded myself that even 30 seconds of incoherent thoughts (typed on my phone while running through Golden Gate Park) can become gratifying notes that remind me of the small, often joyful moments in my life I might otherwise forget.
