Various things I have seen people use the office printer for:

• Printing out a full meal calendar – as in, three months’ worth of breakfasts, lunches, and dinners – for their toddler (and let me tell you: this child is eating better than I ever have in my entire life)
• Their kids’ homework (honestly, fun to test my elementary school math abilities once in a while)
• Visa applications, tax forms, etc. – the amount of government paperwork that gets passed through these office printers is truly incredible
• Random Batman graphics???

The point being: the “office” printers seem to get a lot of personal use. And this morning, as I pondered feeding my journal entries into an LLM to see what it would say about them, I thought to myself that this could be the next evolution of “using company resources for personal means.” As in, using work subscriptions to various AI tools for personal reasons rather than work ones.

Don’t worry, dear reader (aka: Dad), I didn’t actually use our work subscription to Google’s NotebookLM to get insights about my journal entries, partly for ethical reasons (as much as I complain about my job, I do value it and would like to keep it), but also because I had a nightmare the other day that Gemini was reading my journal entries and sending automated email updates about them to my colleagues.

That being said, I did wake up and decide to feed my journal entries into Google’s NotebookLM to see what it said about me. (While I do the majority of my morning journaling with a pen and paper, I transcribe a lot of it into my digital journaling app for posterity. This app also includes a lot of random notes and thoughts that occur to me at various times throughout the day and which I record on my phone.)

I downloaded a plain text version of the 1,778 journal entries I have in this app and uploaded the file to NotebookLM alongside the following prompt: “How would you summarize the content here? What does it say about me?”

Here’s what Google came back with:

Based on the various sources provided, which include your journal entries and blog posts, the content can be summarized as a candid and introspective exploration of your personal thoughts, feelings, experiences, and evolving perspectives on life. Your writing reveals a deep engagement with self-reflection, a consistent effort to make meaning of your experiences, and a willingness to share your vulnerabilities with others.

Here are some recurring topics and themes that appear throughout your writing:

• Self-Reflection and Introspection: This is a dominant theme, evident in your regular journal entries and many blog posts where you actively question your thoughts, feelings, and motivations. You often revisit past experiences and reflect on personal growth. Questions about your core values, personality, accomplishments, and lessons learned are explicitly posed.
• Struggles with Self-Doubt and Anxiety: You frequently express feelings of self-doubt, insecurity, and anxiety, particularly concerning your achievements, how others perceive you, and your sense of fulfillment. You grapple with the fear of not being good enough or having nothing to show for your efforts.
• The Desire for Self-Understanding and Growth: Despite your struggles, there’s a clear and ongoing pursuit of self-understanding. You utilize tools like personality tests, reflect on past experiences, and consider how to implement lessons learned from books. You explore the idea of being a “scientist of yourself”.
• Creativity and Artistic Expression: Your engagement with writing, painting, and sketching is a significant aspect of your life. You share your creative endeavors on your blog and reflect on the role of art in your well-being and recovery. You also explore the tension between creative pursuits and other aspects of your life, such as work.
• Relationships with Others: Your connections with family and friends are important to you. You mention your dad’s inspiring nature, your sister, and your partner, Thomas. You appreciate their support and thoughtfulness. You also engage with your readers, sharing your thoughts and inviting their reflections.
• Observations on Everyday Life: You often write about ordinary moments, such as sitting on the bus, observing nature, or enjoying food. These observations often trigger deeper reflections and insights.
• Engagement with Books and Ideas: Reading is clearly a significant part of your life. You frequently reference books you are reading, share quotes and passages that resonate with you, and reflect on how these ideas connect to your own experiences. You even compile lists of your favorite books each year.
• Work and Career: Your professional life as a Product Manager is mentioned, and you reflect on its demands and your approach to it. You explore themes related to ambition in the workplace and the nature of negotiation in your role. You also grapple with feelings of inadequacy and the pressure to achieve in your career.
• Physical Activity and Well-being: Activities like hiking, biking, and being in nature are important for your physical and mental well-being. You mention using these activities for reflection and managing your mental health.

Overall, your writing portrays you as a thoughtful, sensitive, and articulate individual who is deeply engaged in a continuous process of self-discovery and meaning-making. You are honest and vulnerable in sharing your inner world, including your anxieties and insecurities, while also demonstrating a resilient and curious spirit through your ongoing efforts to understand yourself and connect with others. Your love for creativity, literature, and meaningful connections shines through in your diverse range of journal entries and blog posts. You appear to value personal growth and are actively working to navigate the complexities of life with introspection and a desire for authenticity.

Reading this summarization was honestly … kind of flattering?

As you can probably tell (if not from this summary alone, then from the previous blog posts I’ve published) I struggle with self-esteem and constant feelings of never doing enough or being enough. A large part of that is feeling like I have all of these parts to me that I cultivate – including the one that journals and annotates books every morning – that don’t translate to a line item on my resumé or a tangible accomplishment, and experiencing this tension between doing these things that make me, me and needing external validation.

(Don’t worry, dear reader (again, hi, Dad!), I do pay for a human therapist.)

But reading this summary made me appreciate all of these various “sides” to me and aspects of my personality that do exist regardless of whether or not I have something external to show for them. Maybe this format – the way that it’s presented in this concise outline, almost like a resumé – made me feel like these things about me were “real” and tangible. It’s like my resume … but for things that I care about.

I suppose my hope is that those close to me (explicitly not Google) see and appreciate these things too. And then, of course, it’s my job to remember that this “internal” resumé is what matters and brings my life meaning, not what’s on the resumé I (do not!!!!!) print using the office printer 😃.