Category: Thoughts

  • Morro Bay

    Morro Bay

    For how much exploring I’ve done in California, so little of it has been south of Monterey. I’ve visited some of the “heavy hitters,” if you will – Joshua Tree, Los Angeles, Santa Barbara, Sequoia National Forest – but my tendency is to drive north of the Bay especially for shorter weekend trips. As a […]

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  • Pots & Pans & Parts of Me

    Pots & Pans & Parts of Me

    I woke up this morning, brushed my teeth, and did the dishes. All I do is the dishes. I need more hobbies. And less dishes. And better strategies for coping with my anxiety and need for control. Thomas made toaster waffles for breakfast instead of his usual oatmeal so that was exciting. He still ate […]

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  • Away From Me

    Away From Me

    I spent yesterday morning painting. I was trying to paint an image of where I wish I were – in the springtime-green mountains of Colorado – instead of here, inside, sweating, as smoke swirls around us. I spent yesterday evening reading Ocean Vuong’s On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous. It has to be more than coincidence […]

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  • Candy Corn Contemplations

    Candy Corn Contemplations

    It’s a Sunday Sunday. Meaning: I left the house only once, which was to go to Target for toilet bowl cleaner, and ended up buying a big bag of candy corn that I finished on the walk home. I told myself I’d cook the tofu and kale I bought earlier this week (in a fleeting […]

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  • Lavender

    Lavender

    It’s 5:18am but I get up anyway because it’s easier to start my day tired than it is to toss and turn in bed with only anxious thoughts as company. (No, wait, Thomas is also here…but he’s fast asleep and has been working so hard the last thing I want to do is wake him…) […]

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  • TV & Poetry

    TV & Poetry

    I like to think of me and Thomas’ brain cell count as a zero sum game: if he’s gaining brain cells, I have to be losing them at the same rate. For example: it’s 8pm on a Saturday evening and he is doing readings for his policy classes. Therefore, in order to balance out his […]

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  • Fires, coffee, books (the usual)

    Fires, coffee, books (the usual)

    I woke this morning to a red “Unhealthy” warning on my AirNow phone app. Instead of waking up, rolling over to grab my phone, and checking my work email, my mornings now consist of waking up, rolling over to grab my phone, and checking the air quality maps. What an inspiring way to start the […]

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  • A Year of Gratitude

    A Year of Gratitude

    One year ago today I got in an awful bike accident. I remember lying contorted on the ground in the most pain I’d felt in my life, being lifted onto a stretcher and into the back of an ambulance, then opening my eyes in an emergency room bed thinking that if I wasn’t dead I […]

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  • Fires in the Time of Coronavirus

    Fires in the Time of Coronavirus

    Some things that happened today, Monday, August 24: — I walked to the grocery store in full incognito mode. I hate wearing shades because they make me feel like an asshole but the smoky air left me no choice. Also, am I the only one who feels like shades create a barrier between them and […]

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  • Having My Cake…and Being Stressed Out, Too?

    Having My Cake…and Being Stressed Out, Too?

    I feel sad, angry, and helpless about so much: fires blazing across Northern California, coronavirus raging on, friends who are going through tough times, ongoing fights for black lives… I sit at my kitchen table each day and try to focus on work but it feels increasingly trivial. I take meetings in between reading articles […]

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  • Racing in the Street

    Racing in the Street

    Leslie and I were talking the other day about how we only have so many “energetic” hours in our day; namely, the first few after we wake up. My hours of peak focus and energy are probably 6am-11am, after which I become increasingly unfocused and useless. The problem with having this limited 5 hour window […]

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  • Guys.

    Guys.

    It’s official: I have too many feelings. It’s very inconvenient, to have this many feelings all the time. I keep meaning to finish and post the four other bits of writing I’ve started over the past few days…but, as usual, it’s now 8pm and all I’ve done since finishing work two hours ago is listen […]

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